I am…

Enough.

I have been thinking my life has indeed been a journey of reaching for completeness, for ultimate peace. For me, this image depicts the journey of connecting to my own inner light, which to me is what I imagine death to be; to be fully integrated and whole spiritually.

reaching

Sexual Assault

What is Sexual Assault?

Sexual assault is an umbrella term describing any form of unwanted physical sexual contact in which consent is not given.

Triggers #donaldtrump #nevertrump 

So, all this talk about grabbing private parts in the media has me more than a little unsettled. It has reminded me of the years of sexual assault I endured in my marriage and it makes me physically ill.

A little background:

In my marriage, it was expected that the daily butt and breast grabbing was part of my (then) husband’s right to my body; “That ass is mine, don’t forget that.”

Translate that to I was nothing more than an object to be utilized in any way to please my man.

“You should be thankful that I still want to grab your ass” and “plenty of women would love to have this attention” was a recurrent theme when I asked him over and over and over again to STOP.

I would plead to him that his behavior and unwanted grabbing made me uncomfortable.

He wouldn’t stop.

At the time, I honestly felt he was right, that I should be thankful. My lack of self-worth left me vulnerable to being a victim. Unwanted touching was something I had to survive every.single.day. I was brainwashed by a man and a society that objectify women. I learned to push aside my instincts, and my need to be heard and respected.

I should be thankful. I should be thankful.

Suffice to say, there is more to my story, but what I aim to make clear by this disclosure is that any unwanted sexual contact is a sexual assault. Even within the confines of a marriage. You have the right to say no, and be to be heard. Your body is your own. You are not an object. You have a fundamental right to demand respect.

Today I AM thankful. I am thankful for my strength and tenacity on escaping my marriage. I am thankful for what walking away has taught me about myself. I am thankful for healing and finding my voice. I am thankful.

Lessons I Have Learned: Go Forth Boldly and Share Your Light

While I have recently found time to breathe deeply and contemplate the past year, I have been reflecting on my inner strength. I am indeed tenacious and passionate about my life and about empowering others to find their own strength within. As I have made my way toward healthy relationships and walked away from detractors, I have found peace and love within my heart and have been embraced by the most incredible friendships I have ever known. As I became free from the shackles of self-doubt and self-hate, my world has been filled with positive relationships and a support network that surrounds me with love and kindness when life throws an inevitable curve ball.
My lessons to share: Go boldly forth with an open heart and let your light shine and your world will bloom in unimaginable ways. When the curve balls come, instead of retreating, move boldly forward and your light will illuminate the way.
To my loving and supportive friends and my amazing children, thank you for sharing your light.